Lonely
by dragneellover269
Summary: Misaki has been left all alone by Akihiko and his life is spinning out of control. He went to jail and has been released . . . only to find out that his past love has moved on and found someone else. Will Misaki and Akihiko be able to come back together, or will Misaki's past and enemies get in the way? WARNING:Misaki and some others are a bit OOC, and there may be character death.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own Junjou Romantica**

**Enjoy the fan fiction!**

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Chapter One

Misaki's POV

'My life . . . is a living hell' I thought as my brother signed me out of the jail. It had been six years since Akihiko had disappeared from my life, six years of pain and loneliness that was almost unbearable, no, _was _unbearable. That feeling only intensified in me when I saw the man in question leaning against his red race car, smoking with one hand . . . and holding hands with another man with the other.

Akihiko was giving him the same loving look he always gave me whenever he looked at me. I managed to cover the shock and hurt I felt at that moment with a mask of indifference that seemed to surprise the white haired man. You're wondering how all of this happened, right? Well, I'll tell you.

~~~Flashback~~~

Today started as a normal day for me. I got out of bed (trying not to wake up Usagi-san, of course) and got dressed, then went down stairs and prepared breakfast. At exactly seven o'clock a.m. Usagi-san slammed open the bedroom door, in his suit for some strange reason I still have yet to figure out, walked down stairs with his favorite Suzuki-san in tow. Just as I was setting out the breakfast, he sat down and muttered,"Itadakimasu," and began eating.

After sexually harassing me and successfully turning my face as red as a tomato, he drove me to M University. I got a call from Aikawa-san just as my classes ended, so I answered," Moshi moshi."

"Misaki-kun," I heard Aikawa say from my phone. The tone of her voice was different from her usually shrill tone, softer than usual, and it caused a chill of unease cause a chill of unease to make its way down my spine.

"What's wrong, Aikawa-san?" I asked, unable to stand the silence.

"It's Usami-sensei (A/N sorry I'm not sure what she called him so kind of improvised). He moved away, but he wouldn't tell me where and I can't get a hold of him. All he told me was to tell you that he's sorry for leaving you like this and that he loves you," Aikawa explained to me in a shaky voice.

"That's bull shit!" I yelled, attracting attention from people around me, but I didn't care.

This reaction seemed to shock Aikawa, but she managed to say,"He also said that he left the apartment for you-"

Before she could finish the sentence I hung up, unable to listen to anymore. I didn't realize I had been crying as I ran the whole way to the apartment complex we, no I, lived in. On the way I tried calling Usagi-san, but I got sent straight to his voicemail, so I left a message and continued running. It was true though, most of his belongings were gone, except for a couple of bears. I still didn't give up hope though, and I stayed there for two years waiting for my love to come back.

Even though I didn't notice, other people saw me begin to change in behavior and personality. I became distant, almost cold. I was alone, and my brother tried to help, but it was in vain. After the first year I began taking self-defense classes to vent my frustrations, and mastered it quickly. So one night I was walking home (yes, I still consider that empty, cold place home), when two muggers pulled me into an alley and put a knife to my throat, demanding all my valuables.

I acted on instinct and grabbed the guys knife arm and twisted it behind his back, accidentally stabbing him in his back in the process. I could only watch in shock as he bled to death, only realizing later that I still had his blood on my hands. Someone had apparently called the police and _I _was the one that got arrested.

The cops didn't believe that what I did was self-defense, so I was put on trial. The other mugger was considered a witness and he claimed that what I did was completely random and not self-defense, so I was sentenced four years in jail (A/N I'm not sure how long he would've been in jail, so don't be surprised if that's wrong).

~~~Flashback end~~~

Even though I killed a man, my brother still cared about me and visited me. Even so, everything that happened to me in those four years would always haunt me, and seeing Akihiko (I stopped calling him Usagi-san after the first six months after he left) I love with another man didn't help the case. Actually, I was pretty sure I had become a mental case by now. Takahiro put a hand on my shoulder and guided me towards Akihiko's car, towards the one thing I dreaded being near.

When Akihiko left, my brother still hadn't known about our relationship, and I've kept it that way for the past six years. The violet eyed man smiled gently at me and attempted to put a hand on my head, but I avoided it, opened the car door, and climbed in the back seat. I could hear people talking to me and asking me questions, but I just ignored them and stared forward, my mask of indifference in place.

A gentle hand was placed on my shoulder, and I looked over to see Akihiko, looking at me like he was concerned about my health or something. "What?" I snapped irritably, and almost laughing at his surprised expression.

Then a voice behind him said, "Usagi, move! I want to introduce myself." The whitette's eyes softened a fraction and he moved aside. He had chestnut colored hair and eyes a few shades of green darker then mine. I was probably two inches taller than him, since I had gotten taller over the past six years.

"Hello. My name is Ritsu Onodera, and I'm Usagi's boyfriend," he blushed a bit at the word," It's nice to meet you." I only stared at him coldly, ignoring the hand that he had put out. Ritsu started looking a bit uneasy after a minute of my staring, so I looked away and started to get out saying, "Get out of my way. I don't want to sit in this car forever," in a cold tone. Akihiko gently pulled Onodera behind him and said, "Don't be so rude to him. He _is _the man I love after all." I only stared as Ritsu's face started turning red, but didn't object to the statement. "So he's your lover then. That's nice," I stated and walked into Takahiro's house we had somehow arrived at while I was ignoring everyone.

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**Please review and give me some advice if you need any. I'll take requests also. Thanks for reading!XD**

**Dragneellover out!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica**

**Sorry for not updating. I was planning on it but school is so annoying and I have this ten page short story AND a scrap book due Friday for science so I've been a bit busy. Anyways, enjoy the fan fic.**

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Chapter Two

- One Year Later -

It had taken a while for me to get used to life in the outside world and always having to wear long sleeves. It had also taken a while for me to get used to Akihiko being in love with another man. In jail, there hadn't really been a way or reason to do it, but now I did, or else everyone would find out. It had been exactly one year since I'd been released from jail, so everyone wanted celebrate, but I didn't see any reason to. 'So what? I've been out of jail for a year. It doesn't really matter' I thought to myself.

I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table, still groggy from sleep. Then I noticed the huge, annoying grin my brother was giving Akihiko and Ritsu. "Takahiro, what's with that irritating grin?" I asked irritably, as I always was when the lovebirds came over. He opened his mouth to answer, but instead Akihiko answered for him. "Ritsu and I are engaged. We decided a week ago, but thought today would be the best time to tell you. We told Takahiro earlier this morning." I didn't hear anything pat 'engaged'. The pain I felt in my heart was overwhelming and I almost let my emotions show on my face, the pain, hurt and betrayal, but managed to cover them up.

"Good for you. At least you're happy with the person you _really _love," I said coldly, still struggling to keep my emotions in check. That day we 'celebrated' my anniversary of getting out of jail and the lovebirds getting engaged. That night Takahiro, Minami, Akihiko, and Ritsu wanted to go out to a bar and get a drink, but I stayed behind, using the lie that I had a headache and didn't want to do anything to make it worse. So a few minutes after they left my emotions went lose, and tears streamed silently down my face, and I finally felt all the cracks that had already formed in my heart shatter it.

I went up to my room and locked the door behind me. I finally gave my emotions the reins. There were no sobs. Sobs couldn't begin to describe the pain I felt. This just made the pain in my heart all the more worse, because the reality of it finally sank in.

'It hurts . . . why does it have to hurt so much?' I thought broken heartedly. I had slid down the door with my back to it and wrapped my arms around my legs, burying my face in my knees. I hadn't cried this much since Akihiko left me. Actually that had been the last time I cried. It felt like I had been like that for hours when I finally let the darkness take me into its depths.

I woke up on my side, my back to the door, and soreness throughout my body from sleeping on the floor. Someone knocked on the door, making me jump. Quickly, I ran into my bathroom and looked at my face. I looked horrible. There were tear streaks going down my face and my eyes were rimmed with red from my crying. My hair was messy too, so I turned on the shower, pretending to be busy, and ignored the person knocking on my door . . . until I heard who it was.

"Misaki," Akihiko said," Let me in. I need to talk to you." I quickly washed my face with water from the sink after turning the shower off, and when I deemed myself presentable I opened the door, my expression unreadable. Akihiko walked in and waited for me to close the door and turn around before he said,"I love him more than I have loved anyone before. Even you. I'm sorry."

"Leave. Get out," I said, my tone cold with a hint of hurt in it.

He had a dumbfounded expression, but then he seemed to understand and said,"Sorry, I know how it feels though. You can get through it." This only broke my heart more, and once he left I slammed the door closed and locked it again.

Soon after, Takahiro knocked on my door and asked if I was okay through it. I told him I was fine, and I knew he believed it, as he was used to me locking myself up in my room.

"I'll leave your breakfast outside the door," he said, and I felt something off about the way he talked, but left it alone. Once I was sure my brother was gone I got the food from the hallway, but before I could put it down and close and lock my door, Ritsu entered my room.

"Did Usagi talk to you?" the man asked me, voice voice laced with pity.

"Just shut the _hell_ up," I hissed, trying to keep my temper in check."I don't need pity, especially from the man who took Akihiko away from me," I said, venom clear in my voice. Ritsu was stunned by the tone, and I could make out tears forming in his eyes.

"I was only trying to help you. Sometimes you can actually accept it," he said tearfully, and ran out of the room, probably to find Akihiko. I kept the door unlocked, knowing that the possessive and now angry Akihiko would want to talk to me about making his 'lover' cry. I counted down from three in my head, and right as I got to zero, the Great Lord Usami himself slammed the door open and came in, his 'lover' behind him in tears,and pure rage plain in his cold face and eyes.

"I know you're mad at me for doing this to you," he said, slamming me up against the wall by my shirt collar,"but DON'T take it out on Ritsu. You may just end up making me hate you."

With those words I decided to tell him and then disappear from his life that night. "Can I talk to you? Alone," I asked the whitette, and he nodded, releasing me iron grip of death.

"Ritsu," he said, wiping away the smaller man's tears,"Go to our room and wait for me there, alright?" It hurt seeing him treat another man that way, the same way he used to treat me. Ritsu nodded, and left the room, closing the door behind him. I went over to the door and locked, as it had become a paranoid habit of mine. Akihiko raised an eyebrow at that but didn't ask any questions about it.

"So what do you want now? Are you done being rude to my Ritsu?" The way he said the other man's name made my heart turn into nothing but dust. I didn't say anything, but pulled my long sleeves up. Akihiko, the man with the biggest vocabulary out there, was speechless with what he saw.

There were scars crisscrossing both of my arms up to the crook of my elbows. Some of the scars were words, others were just straight lines, and some were jagged shapes. And most were self-inflicted.

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**Okay, so how was it? Good? Bad? Okay? Please review and tell me what you think. You can even give me advice if you think I need it, but only constructive criticism, no flaming. You can rant if you must though. Anyways thanks for reading and I'll update as soon as possible. If you review a whole lot I might update even quicker. I hope you enjoyed, and take a look other story(s) too. I'll be collaborating with dragonrider 848 on some so keep a look out.**

**dragneellover out! **


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm reeeeeaaaallly sorry for not updating sooner. I've been really busy with finals at my high school. Sigh . . . anyways, I hope you enjoy the chapter and keep the reviews up. Oh yeah, about that flamingos problem. Anyone out there who saw that I'm sorry, I MEANT no flaming . . . But my kindle auto-corrected it . . . and . . . yeah. Enjoy~~!**

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"W-when did this . . .?" Akihiko' s voice trailed off, unable to finish the question.

"I stopped soon before I was released from jail. I didn't want to keep those habits when I came here, so I stopped." After the initial shock passed, anger replaced it. Before he could say anything, though, someone knocked on my bedroom door, and Takahiro's voice came through the wood.

"Misaki, Usagi, can you come out? I need to talk to you." My brother's tone worried me. He said my name as though he were talking to a wounded animal. He had used that tone with me when I first arrived, but I managed to convince him that he didn't need to treat me like that.

After pulling my sleeves back down, I walked over and unlocked the door, then opened it slowly, looking warily at my brother. "What is it?" I asked, and he seemed to recognize that tone because he said quickly,"Someone called for you earlier, and when I told him you weren't up yet . . . he told me . . . some things about . . . you." Takahiro's voice got got quieter and quieter until I could barely catch the last word.

"Did they say a name?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, still talking quietly.

"What was it?" I asked impatiently.

"Haitani." The shock must have registered on my face, because my brother started panicking, probably because he knew it wasn't good when I showed my emotions like that. His eyes travelled down, most likely thinking of a way to calm both me and himself down. Before Takahiro could say anything, Akihiko said," What does this Haitani person mean to you?"

Apparently he hadn't failed to notice the way I stiffened when I heard the name either. I wasn't sure what to say, so I just stood there and maintained my blank, yet cold, expression again, but now it look like when I had been released from jail, with less light and spirit. Over the year I had lived with my brother, I had gotten the feeling that I was alive, but that feeling had just dissipated. I'd done my best to stay under the radar, yet it was all for naught.I had failed to escape him, _that man._

_"_What _exactly _did he say to you?" I asked Takahiro, ignoring Akihiko's question.

"H-he said . . ." Takahiro's voice trailed off, and didn't finish the sentence. Apparently he was reluctant to answer the question, and soon the look of reluctance melted away to one of pity. I absolutely loathed that look, that look I had gotten from others in jail, including the guards, the man that took my first love away from me, and now my own brother and my first love himself. My brother noticed this change in my expression and looked slightly fearful, but the look didn't go away.

"Stop," I whispered. "Stop giving me that look. I hate that look! I don't want your damned pity! I've had enough of it!" I ended yelling. Noticing my brother's hurt expression, I said,"I'm sorry." My eyes were covered by my bangs so that the two couldn't see my expression.

"Can I be alone for awhile?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"Sure. Come on, Takahiro," Akihiko said to my brother. The two men left, looking at me with even more pity than before, and I knew I had to leave, leave this god damned place before it became too suffocating.

Everyone in the house left me alone for the rest of the day, save for Minami when she dropped food by my door. At around one p.m., once I was sure everyone wouldn't notice me leaving, I left my room with a bag full of clothes, money, and a couple of sentimental belongings, planning to leave. As I passed Akihiko Ritsu's room, I heard sounds that broke my heart all over again (you know what I mean), that made me leave all the quicker.

I put my shoes and jacket on and left the house, leaving a letter for Takahiro and Minami and Akihiko. That night I disappeared from their lives, just as Akihiko disappeared from mine.

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**Sorry again for taking so long to update. I know this chapter is kinda short, but I just love making people suffer not knowing what's going to happen while I do. It gives me a warm fluffy feeling. Anyways, give me at least five reviews on this chapter then I'll update. Bye bye until next time~!**

**Dragneellover out!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I have no excuse for not updating sooner. It was just pure and honest procrastination cuz' I didn't feel like updating, but here I am so enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: Junjou Romantica is not mine. If it was it would be absolutely horrible.**

Akihiko's POV

A few minutes after Ritsu fell asleep due to our 'late night escapades', I heard a door opening then closing. It sounded like the front door. I got up and put some underwear and pants on to investigate, being careful not to wake my little lover up. I had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, like something was out of place, not right. I walked into the living room and saw nothing out of place, but the feeling of unease didn't go away.

That was when I noticed something _was_ different. There were two letters on the coffee table, and I already had an idea of what they were. I picked up the envelopes off of the coffee table and read the names written on them. One was addressed to Takahiro and Minami, and the other to me. The names were written in Misaki's handwriting. Attempting not to panic I read the letter addressed to me, and my heart sank.

After reading the letter I almost panicked, but managed to keep my cool. I rushed up to Misaki's room in an attempt to convince myself that this wasn't happening. That little hope that I gained from that attempt, however, was crushed when I saw Misaki's room practically bare of anything but unnecessary items.

I looked through his drawers and closet, my denial of the situation clear, in a rushed manner, and finding that most of his clothes were gone. Finally coming to the realization that Misaki was gone, I rushed to Takahiro's room, not caring if I woke anyone up anymore. I flicked the lights on and practically yelled, "Get up! Misaki's gone!"

Takahiro and Minami woke up with a jolt. I heard fast footsteps coming down the hallway, and saw Ritsu in the doorway of the bedroom soon. It was then that I realized just how loud I had been, and how much commotion I had caused, but I couldn't care less at that moment.

"What's going on?" Ritsu asked in an alarmed voice. I had been panicking too much to try to comfort him and calm him down. I was probably the one that needed to calm down.

"Misaki left. He took all of his stuff and left! He only left a note." I tossed the letter on the bed for them to read. Takahiro's face changed from groggy, to confused, to alarmed in a single moment after reading the letter, and Minami burst into tears. I felt a pang of sympathy for my past love, because now he could easily lose the only family (besides Minami) he had left.

"We're looking for Misaki. I can't lose him," Takahiro said in a pleading yet commanding tone that I had never heard him use before. I looked at Ritsu, and saw a strange look in his eyes (was that relief?).

"Of course," I said, determination made clear in my expression. All of us got dressed and right as we were about to set out Ritsu said, "Can I talk to you?"

Misaki's POV

I finally let myself relax once I got on the train, well, until my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. I looked at the caller ID and noticed that it was my brother trying to contact me, so I ended the call without answering my phone and turned it off. For all I knew Akihiko could have been tracking me by my phone, he'd done it before.

I sighed, 'I should probably be prepared to get over a hundred missed calls, knowing how overprotective my brother and Akihiko can get. Then again, I doubt **he** cares' I thought dejectedly, successfully depressing myself further and hurting myself with my own words . . . again. The gentle vibrations of the train began to lull me into sleep, and soon I let unconsciousness come over me, even knowing what dreams came with it.

.

.

.

_Haitani was straddling me, whispering in my ear, "You're worthless. No wonder Akihiko left you. He probably hated you, only used you for his own pleasure." With the last word he took out a knife that seemed to come out of nowhere and carved a word into the inside of my right arm. The word was 'trash'. The pain of the knife dragging through my skin almost made me scream, but Haitani noticed that and covered my mouth with his blood covered hand._

"_Shh We don't want the guards coming, do we?" He asked in a 'kind' tone, but grinned a cruel, cold smile. 'Even after I've escaped that hell of a prison, it still comes back to haunt me' I thought emotionlessly. I let the realistic dream play through, letting the pain consume me. Then the weight on my torso changed, and I opened my eyes to see Akihiko. _

_This was one element of my dreams that I had never seen before, but my shock wore off soon. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "I hated you seven years ago, and I hate you now. You're just worthless trash that doesn't deserve to live. Nobody _really_ cares about you. _I_ never cared about you. All of that was just an act to prepare you so I could ultimately break you heart, shatter it to pieces." _

_The ever-present confident smirk never left Akihiko's face as he said those words, and the pain in my body just intensified as the dream continued on. I never thought, not even in a dream, that Akihiko would violate me like this, especially not with the hate present on his face like that. 'I guess he really does hate me' I thought and let the dream take my mind away into an endless nightmare._

_._

_._

_._

I woke from my dream with a jolt, my face wet with tears, and looked up to see an attendant (a/n I'm not really sure if trains have attendants, but for the sake of my story they do) looking at me with a concerned expression.

"The train has arrived, sir. It's time for the passengers to get off," she said kindly. I nodded, and gathered my stuff, walking off the train once I had all of it. I stretched and started searching the city for a place cheap enough for me to stay. After about three hours, at 4:00 am, I found an apartment, and paid for one month of my stay with the money I had on me, and decided that the next day I would find a job.

I sorted all of my things in my apartment, grabbed a change of clothes, and then showered, feeling grimy from the train ride. After I took a hot shower I climbed in bed and, by some strange miracle, immediately fell into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning I woke up, and grabbed my phone to see the time, before remembering that I had turned it off. I turned it on impatiently and saw that it was 4:17 pm. I slept for almost twelve hours without realizing it. I sighed, and showered, getting ready for my late evening job hunt. I dressed casually, but not too formal. I had dark jeans on and a white long shirt on as well. Over my white shirt I had a deep purple windbreaker.

I left my apartment and started walking around the city in search of any shops that needed work. An hour after I left to look for my job, I was about to cross a crosswalk when I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder that I never wanted to encounter again, but that now seemed impossible.

"Haitani," I said voice emotionless.

**Yay! Another cliffy! I hope you enjoyed, and just so you know I will take suggestions or requests for the story. Just put it in the reviews or PM me and I'll take those into account. Okay, my last piece of business is reviews. Send me at least six reviews and I'll update again. And I realize how irritating and such this is, but you know this makes me really happy. Anyways, until next time . . .**

**Dragneellover out! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Again I have no good and/or believable excuse for not updating this story other than procrastination and laziness. Sorry, it's a family trait and can't be helped. Anyways, I'll get on with the story.**

**Disclaimer: Junjou Romantica is not mine and it never will be.**

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**Chapter Five?**

"Hello, Mi-sa-ki~," Haitani said in a sing song, yet frighteningly dark voice. I felt the blood drain from my face, my eyes become cold and dull, almost lifeless.

"Misaki!" I heard Akihiko's voice in the distance, but ignored it and listened to Haitani as he whispered in my ear,"Let's go somewhere we can talk in private. I haven't seen you in a long time and we need to catch up."

I only nodded and walked forward, his hand still on my shoulder, guiding me along. I could still hear people yelling my name, and I knew that if I tried calling for help, Haitani or his lackeys would stop them from getting to me, possibly injuring or killing them. After all, I was his prized possession, his favorite toy.

So, I kept walking. We went into a fancy restaurant, and he said to the employee at the entrance, "I have a private room reserved for Haitani."

"Of course, sir," the employee said, and led us to a private room at the back of the restaurant. Fear was coursing through my body, but the numbing effect of being around Haitani was making my fear disappear, leaving nothing but self-hatred in its place. Even so, I covered my eyes with my bangs, not betraying anything on my face. We were seated at a fancy table in the middle of a mahogany walled room. A candle and a rose was in the middle of the table, completing the romantic scene, but I was feeling anything but romance.

Our waiter set menus on the table, one in front of each of the two seats. Haitani guided me to my chair and sat me down, leaving no room for argument (not that I would). Once the devil incarnate was seated, the waiter asked, "What would you gentlemen like to drink this evening?"

Haitani ordered wine for both of us, and the waiter left to get it for us. Once we had gotten our drinks and the waiter left, Haitani said, "So, how have you been for the past year since you left jail? Hmm?"

"Fine," I said shortly, attempting to keep my voice polite, and wanting to get out of the restaurant as soon as possible. My efforts went to waste though, because my voice was as cold as my eyes.

"Aaw~, you hurt my feelings. Why don't you start being more open with me~?" he said in a whiny tone, a tone that I'd learned to hate over the years. I only glared coldly at him, abandoning my attempt at being polite, not willing to do what he said. Haitani ignored the glare I sent him, though I saw a dark glint in his eye that came and went in a split second, almost so fast that I though I was imagining things. But I knew better than to ignore something like that.

Without saying anything, I got up out of my chair and left the room, surprised to find that I wasn't being followed, though I did see a cruel, twisted smile on his face as I left. That was a smile I knew I didn't want to see, because that smile spelled danger. Not just danger for me, but also for the people I cared about.

Even though I had gotten away from **that man, **my heart was still pounding in my ears, the numbing effect of being around him wearing off. I managed to keep up my cool and composed façade while walking out of the restaurant, but once I was finally out I began running. Fear was coursing through my body, not leaving enough common sense in me to think about where I was going, or even to stop when the crosswalk light turned red. Before I even noticed it, a speeding car hit me, causing me to go flying through the air. I hit the asphalt with a thud, and pain exploded throughout my body. People rushed over to see what was going on and began to surround me, but I could barely tell what was going on around me and my body was starting to feel cold.

Suddenly warmth enveloped one of my hands, and I saw a familiar face looming over me, but I couldn't place who it was or what he seemed to be saying to me. All I knew in that one moment was that the face of the person above me cause pain in my heart, like a knife twisting in my heart, and then warmth started to suffocate me on all sides before my vision went black, and I knew nothing but my own torturous mind.

Akihiko's POV

I had spotted Misaki on the sidewalk about half an hour ago. I watched as he stiffened when a man walked up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder, then whispered something in his ear. I couldn't tell what he was saying from the distance I was at, so I started yelling Misaki's name, but he just ignored me and walked away with the man. That reminded me of what happened with Ritsu . . .

~~Flashback~~

_As Takahiro and I were about to leave to search for Misaki, Ritsu asked to talk to me. I walked into the kitchen with him and said, "What is it?"_

_"I think we should break the engagement." I was stunned and unable to voice my question, so Ritsu explained, "I don't think it's _me_ you're in love with. I think you're still in love with Misaki." I gave Ritsu a questioning look._

_He sighed and continued, "You love the fact that my personality is how his used to be. Since he's changed, you were subconsciously looking for him, or someone like him. I'm the same way. You remind me of my past love, and because I met you I've finally found him again. Basically, it's not me, but Misaki you really love."_

_I soaked this in and said to him, "I'm sorry."_

_Ritsu shook his head with a sad yet happy smile on his face and said, "It's fine. Go and find your Misaki." Ritsu and I came out of the kitchen and informed Minami and Takahiro of our disengagement. They were rather shocked, but didn't pry or ask any questions. And with that, Ritsu walked out of my life and into the arms of another man._

~~~End of Flashback~~~

Shaking myself out of my memories, I followed the two men until they walked into a fairly expensive looking restaurant. I was puzzled, and when I asked to be taken to the room Misaki and that strange man were in they refused me. Even when I told them who I was! So I waited outside the restaurant.

Half an hour later Misaki burst out of the place with a panicked expression and ran full-speed down the sidewalk. I chased after him and started calling after him, but it was as though he couldn't hear me. When I saw him run across the crosswalk while the light was red, my heart almost stopped. I tried to make it to him before the speeding car ran into him, but I was too late, and could only watch as the car plowed into him and he went flying into the asphalt. I rushed to his side and fell to my knees next to him, picking up his hand. Blood was pooling around him, and he was staring at me like he knew who I was but only just barely. I heard an ambulance coming and picked Misaki up, reveling at how light he was in the part if my mind that wasn't panicking.

Ignoring the questions and comments from the people around me, I quickly but gently laid Misaki on the gurney and climbed into the ambulance with him, not noticing his blood was still on me. All I could hope for as the ambulance sped towards the hospital was that he would survive this.

* * *

**I'm really sorry about that cliff hanger. . . . actually, no I'm not. I love making people mad with cliff hangers like this. It brings me joy to see people suffering (Duh! That's why I write in the first place!). Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! Eight reviews+ and I'll update. Well you know that's probably a lie but . . . keep reading and keep updating!**

**Dragneellover out!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, I'm actually updating on time. I hope you enjoyed the cliff hanger from last time, and there may even be one this time too, so watch out for it. This chapter is gonna be super long (at least for me) so look forward to it! **

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN JUNJOU ROMANTICA!**

Chapter Six?

Akihiko's POV

I had been sitting in the private waiting room for about fifteen minutes when Takahiro and Minami burst in, rushing over to me.

"Have you heard anything? Is he alright?!" Takahiro asked, close to hyperventilating. I stood up and put a calming hand on his shoulder, and said to him in a soothing tone, despite my raging thoughts, "Calm down, Takahiro. Breathe." I paused to let him calm down and catch his breath.

"So far, all I've heard is that he's in surgery. Other than that, there's no news on him." I guided Takahiro to the chair next to mine and made him sit down. We had to wait four more hours for Misaki to get out of surgery, and every second felt like an eternity. The surgery light finally turned off, and the doctor walked out in his scrubs. Takahiro and I practically ran over to the doctor when we saw him.

"Hello, I'm Doctor John Smith. Takahashi-kun . . . well, his condition is stable for now, but the next twenty-four hours are critical. He had major internal bleeding, multiple wounds on his body, a major concussion, and three broken ribs. He's gone into a coma, most likely because of his head trauma, and we aren't sure when, or if, he'll wake up." Dr. Smith stopped a moment to let us take in what he told us.

"I'll have a nurse take you to Takahashi-kun's room. If you'll excuse me, I need to return to my TARDIS*." With that, Dr. Smith rushed down the hall, pulling out a strange flashlight-like thing out of his pocket muttering something like, "I need a new sonic-screwdriver** now . . ." We were all left stunned, to be taken to Misaki's room.

Takahiro, Minami, and I followed a blonde nurse, named Rose Tyler, to Misaki's hospital room, and left us to go in. As I was about to enter, another nurse stopped me saying, "Only family may enter, sir."

"I'm his _lover_, dammit. Now let. Me. In." I growled, and the nurse's eyes widened, before she nodded and allowed me to enter. What I saw inside the room made me stop in my tracks, frozen in shock. It wasn't the fact that Takahiro was sobbing, or Minami was failing in comforting him, but Misaki's appearance.

He was hooked up to about a dozen different machines, and bandages covered the majority of his body, though his face was mostly spared other than a bandage around his head due to his concussion. I walked to the opposite side of the bed that Takahiro was sitting on after a couple of minutes and sat down in the chair next to it, taking Misaki's hand into mine.

Takahiro stopped crying after about half an hour, and took Misaki's other hand. I laid my arms on the side of the bed, Misaki's hand still in mine, and fell into a deep, fitful sleep.

Misaki's POV

I was surrounded by cold darkness. I couldn't tell which way was up or down or left or right, I couldn't even move. The darkness began suffocating me, and soon it felt like it had been an eternity. The cold begun to sink into my skin and creep deep into me, leaving no warmth left in me, not even a trace of it.

All of a sudden, the darkness disappeared, leaving in its place a huge white room, one-hundred yards in either direction. At first, I thought I was alone, but then I heard quiet sobs behind me, and a soothing, comforting voice I could recognize a mile away. I turned around and saw an eight year old version of me crying, while my brother was trying to comfort me.

I remembered that night, the night I found out that my parents were dead, that I would never see them again. Then, the scene disappeared, being replaced with the moment when my brother declared he would take care of me as my guardian, while all I did was cling to him crying.

'_I really was a troublesome kid. I still am too'_ I thought sadly. Then the scene in front of me changed again, showing when I told Akihiko that I hated him, before the first we did 'it', before he first proclaimed his love for me. It was then that I realized that I was probably bothersome to Akihiko now too, when a new scene showed up.

And then when Akihiko's father, Fuyuhiko, talked to me and told me I was a troublesome existence for him. Then when I first arrived at Takahiro's house and Akihiko declared his love for Ritsu. On and on went all of my worst memories, the worst moments in my life, flashing before me. All the times I was raped in jail, or told I was worthless, or cut, whether by others or myself. Everything. It was then that I felt the cold, indifferent personality I had acquired during my time in jail slip back into place like a mask, a wall covering what I really think.

A wall I never let anyone break down. I felt the darkness begin to take the white room over, and the cold making its way back deep into my bones. Suddenly, a strange warmth started filling me, fighting away the cold that resided in the darkness. Now I was completely surrounded in black, like blankets trying to suffocate me, and the warmth only making it worse.

The warmth was most intense in my hand, but there was also a kind of coldness to it, kind of like Akihiko's hands. I smiled, smiled for the first time in a long time, but this smile was bitter and sad, caused by the pain I felt deep in my heart, in my soul. I finally found the strength to open my eyes.

Akihiko's POV

It had been a week since Misaki had gotten hit by the car, and he still hadn't woken up. I came here often, and had been contemplating calling Aikawa and telling her about it, when I noticed Misaki was moving. I stood up and tried to pull my hand out of his so I could tell the Doctor, but he only tightened his hold on it. Misaki opened his eyes, but closed them again because of the bright light.

Once his eyes adjusted to the light, his eyes focused on me, but what I saw in them I hadn't been expecting. They were cold, like when I saw after he had first been released from jail. He started to sit up, and I tried to stop him, but he was still as stubborn as ever and sat up anyways.

"My head hurts," he groaned, wincing from his sore body.

"Well, you did get hit by a car and sent into a coma, so . . ." I sighed and said, "I'll go get the doctor." I really didn't want to leave Misaki's side, but I knew the doctor had to know he'd waken up. I let go of his hand and notified Dr. Smith. He told me to wait in the hallway while he examined Misaki, so I called Takahiro and informed him, then decided to call Aikawa and inform her about Misaki.

Once she picked up I said, "It's me, Akihiko-" Before I could say anything else, she began yelling and screaming profanities into the phone, asking me if I knew what I'd done to Misaki, which really confused me.

I interrupted her attention catching rant by saying, "What do you mean by that? What about Misaki?"

"Don't you know how much he changed after you left?! He waited at your apartment for two years, and became distant. He stopped smiling and being happy after you left," Aikawa said. That shocked me, but I knew I still had to tell her what happened to him.

"Listen to me. I called about Misaki. He-he's been in a car accident and is currently in the hospital," I said, trying to make my voice steady.

"What hospital?!" Aikawa frantically yelled into the phone.

"St. John's Regional Hospital," I told her, and she hung up before I could say anything more. I put my hand in my pocket, putting my phone away and took out the note Misaki left me.

_Akihiko,_

_I wonder whether you'll ever read this letter, but if you _are_ reading this right now, I'm sorry. But I'm sure you'll be fine. You have your Ritsu after all. Anyways, if you're wondering why I left, it's because I don't belong there. That warm, happy family setting isn't for me, because all I end up doing is ruining it. And sometimes I doubt whether I'm even wanted there. All I want is for you, Ritsu, Takahiro, and Minami to be happy, without burdens like me there to destroy that happiness. Now I'm rambling, but anyway, please don't come looking for me. __**That**__ man will come and find me anyway, and I don't want you involved. I love you too much to involve you, and I'm sorry for leaving you like this. Goodbye, and be happy._

_Misaki_

A single tear traced its way down my cheek, and I wiped it away quickly, and went back to Misaki's hospital room now that the doctor was done examining him. '_What is he, an idiot?! How could he think that we don't care!? I'll make sure he gets through his stubborn head that we do care, no matter what!' _I thought with determination.

Misaki's POV

Akihiko walked back into my hospital room and sat down in the chair next to my bed. My head, not to mention my whole body, was throbbing, and every little sound the white haired man made caused a sharp pain to lance through my right temple all the way to the middle of my forehead, where the worst of the damage was. He didn't seem to notice my pain though, and started talking, but before he could get five words into his sentence, I put a hand up and said coldly, "Could you please not say anything? Or better yet, don't make _any_ sounds. I have a really bad migraine and you being noisy doesn't help the case."

I saw irritation in his eyes, but he stayed as quiet as he possibly could. I heard my door open again, and brought a hand up to my head as if to make the pain go away. I looked to side to see Takahiro rushing over to me and hug me tightly before I could say anything. All I could manage to say through his worried yet relieved babbling and bone crushing hug was, "Ow . . ."

Takahiro finally seemed to notice my pained groan and let go, apologizing. I didn't pay attention to that though, because at that moment my hospital door opened again to show a very distressed looking Aikawa.

"Oh my god!" she almost screeched, but it seemed she was attempting to respect the rules of the hospital.

"What happened to you?!" she asked in the same screechy voice. I grabbed my head again, managing to groan out, "Would you _please _stop being so loud? You really aren't helping my migraine."

Aikawa immediately shut up, shocked by coldness toward her. I noticed that once she got over her initial shock, she shot Akihiko a glare before getting a strange sad look in her eyes, like she'd just lost someone important to her.

Then it hit me. '_Aikawa feels as though she's lost _me_. I can't blame her; I've probably changed a lot in her eyes.'_ I thought, feeling the loss of my old self hit me. Akihiko gave me a confused look, as if he could sense the lonely sadness I'd felt for the last seven years.

I glared at him, and he glared right back at me, but I could see that he was still confused. "What happened to you?" I heard Aikawa ask in a much quieter voice. For a second I thought she meant the change from my warm and innocent (naïve in my opinion) personality to my now cold and uncaring one, but then I realized she meant the accident.

"A car hit me," I said simply.

"Yes, I realize that, but _why_ did a car hit you?" I didn't answer, thinking of an appropriate excuse to get me out of the situation. I sensed Akihiko and Takahiro looking at me, giving me a strange look I couldn't decipher.

"What?" I snapped irritably at them.

"Are you okay?" Takahiro asked. "You're acting . . . strange."

"No I'm not. I'm acting like I usually do." My brother gave me that strange look again, but said nothing. Then I realized. Those looks they were giving me . . . was **pity**. '_It seems they've forgotten what I told them before I left, about how much I hate pity.'_

That was when I remembered what my brother had said about Haitani that day, how **that man** told him things about me. "Takahiro," I said, catching everyone's attention, "What exactly did Haitani tell you when he called? I _need_ to know. It's important," I added the last part, seeing his hesitation.

"_**Please**_," I said forcefully, with an almost pleading tone. Takahiro nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but then my door opened, and in walked . . . Haitani. I instantly covered my fear and shock with my signature cold mask. When he saw me, he smiled and said, "You've finally woken up. That's great."

Only someone who's been around** that man** long enough would be able to see the harsh cruelness in his 'kind' words and smile. My hands started to tremble beneath my hospital blankets, so I clenched them into fists to stop the shaking.

"This man is named Shin. He's been visiting you for the past week," Takahiro said. "Are you okay? You look a bit pale." His brow was furrowed in concern.

Sometimes I wish my brother wasn't so thick. "Yeah, just tired," I said, still holding my cold mask.

"I'll watch over him if you three want to go eat. I'm sure you're getting hungry about now," Haitani said 'kindly'. Aikawa, Takahiro, and a reluctant Akihiko agreed and left, heading to the cafeteria.

Haitani waited until their footsteps faded to start my psychological torture. He sat on my bedside and reached a hand out to stroke the side of my face with the back of it, but I slapped it away. Haitani chuckled at my actions, and my wrist. He started squeezing it, causing me to almost gasp in pain as he squeezed with a certain amount of force on one of my bandages.

I forced myself not to make a sound though, slipping back into my habit of silence that I attained in jail.

"I'll leave you alone for now, but don't get too comfortable, because I'll be back for you when the time is right," he whispered in my ear, sending shivers of fear down my spine, and released my wrist. He stayed sitting on the bed, and we stayed like that, silent, Haitani smiling the entire time, until Takahiro, Aikawa, and Akihiko came back.

For the rest of my stay at the hospital, I didn't talk unless necessary. The most exciting thing that happened while I was there was getting an x-ray of my ribs, and I ended up falling asleep during that. When I was finally released after two more weeks, I didn't relax or feel any kind of relief.

If anything, my nervousness, coldness, and short temper only got worse. I could tell my brother and Akihiko were on high alert, possibly so I wouldn't try to leave again, but that only made me want to run away all the more. As we were driving home from the hospital, I asked Akihiko, "Where's Ritsu? I haven't seen him around lately." As much as I didn't like him and his innocent and naïve attitude, I was still afraid of what might happen to him if he hung around me, and if I'm the reason he wasn't here in the first place.

"We broke the engagement. He said he had someone else special to him that needs him." My expression darkened, and I laughed bitterly, giving the two in the front seat a glance of my true feelings.

"I know how that feels. Painful isn't it? I-" I stopped myself, realizing that I had let my mask slip, even if it was a small slip. I looked into Akihiko's eyes and saw guilt and pity in them. Irritation and anger crossed my face, and neither Akihiko nor my brother understood those feelings.

'What do you mean you know how that feels?" Takahiro asked eyes back on the road. I looked out the window, ignoring the question.

"Does that mean you've been in a relationship before? Do I know them-" my irritating brother asked excitedly, but was silenced when he saw the immense, raw pain in my eyes.

"Yeah, you do know them," I muttered dejectedly, becoming depressed. Puzzlement showed in Takahiro's face, and guilt in Akihiko's. With every bump the car made, pain flared through my body, intensifying the pain I felt in my heart.

'_Damn and I thought I'd gotten over him' _I thought in dark amusement.

**Yay! Finally done! That was almost three thousand words! My longest chapter ever! Anyways, down to business. I will take requests by PM for other stories or this story, or you can put it in the reviews if you like. It doesn't really matter to me. 9+ reviews please!**

***TARDIS: It's from a show called Doctor Who (which I do not own) and I love anyone who got the reference.**

****Sonic-screwdriver: same as the other one. It's from Doctor Who, and I love anyone and everyone who got the reference, along with the John Smith thing.**

**Dragneellover out!**


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